Control or Leadership?

Marriages are like the tide; they flow up and down. One of the barometers is the control factor. You’re headed for trouble if one partner becomes dominating over the other. Husbands are to love and lead, but many use that as an excuse to control. Day to day control knocks the life out of a person. It leads to “death;” the death of the marriage! Which way is the tide flowing in your marriage most days? If you sense control instead of loving leadership, speak up. Respond to a particularly controlling directive with an unbelieving “What?” It can serve as a gentle reminder that slavish control is neither loving nor leading.

And this goes for mothers of teens as well. At fifteen, most teens don’t want any leadership, but control kills them as surely as it does anyone else. Do you need someone to incredulously respond “What?” to you? As I write this, I’m aware that my collie is trying to control me by barking since I’m late with our playtime. He needs a gentle jerk back to reality too!

See Colossians 3: 16-25. “….knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.” Col. 3:24-25

About Carol Brandt

I earned a B.A. in History from Florida State University and M.Ed in.Higher Education from Florida Atlantic University. I taught high school social studies before “retiring” to full-time homemaking and raising two daughters. Now I love being a grandmother to four boys and a girl. I have also raised five collies.

My husband, John, was an optometrist, who worked tirelessly for his profession through private practice and as a consultant, and served on the Board of Trustees of Illinois College of Optometry for twenty years.

Ernest Reisinger was my chief mentor in this warm-hearted application of Calvinism. He gave me many books! The Founders Journal and Founders Conferences, Martyn Lloyd-Jones, and Charles Spurgeon have been other sources of Reformed thinking as well as the other warm-hearted ones listed in my book, “Warm-hearted Calvinists.”

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